A few weeks ago, I read about this upcoming documentary about minorities in medicine. And a question about marriage and dating came up. Here were the stats: All the men in the room were married, engaged, or seriously committed; All the women in the room were single. In fact, nationally speaking, according to CNN's "Black and Single: Is Marriage for White People," 45% of black women have never been married (compared to 23% of white women). And, a 2009 article, "Marriage Eludes High Achieving Black Women" also indicates that the black women who make up 71% of black graduate school populations have slimmer chances of marrying than their high achieving white counterparts.
So, this begs the question: Why are a group of young, healthy, intelligent, successful, focused, and beautiful black women single? And even more, why is it that no one I ask seems to be surprised by the discrepancies in marital status among black men and women????
Now, of course, there are always those who swear up and down that black people just don't get married. But quite frankly-- that's bull. In fact, husbands seem to be the new birkin bag and "wife" is becoming a new sorority (at least among people I know-- and compared to a few years ago). Not to mention, these black men who are also taken, have to be marrying someone...
White Women? And this brings me to the next group of blame-game blamers: The WWCT (White Woman Conspiracy Theorists). This group seems to imagine white women meeting secretly and devising plans to hijack black men and steal them in the night. But, whether we want to blame this or not, logic tells us that aint the case. In fact, according to Roland Fryer's 2007 article "Guess Whose Been Coming to Dinner?" only 4% of married black people (male and female) are married to white partners. So, the conspiracy theoryis just that-- a theory.
So what is it, really?
One young black professional said that he believed the discrepancy in marital status between black men and women is simply numbers: Black men at this level in the game are so rare-- they are a commodity and thus, supply is low, demand is high, and some are left out of the loop. Make sense? Ummm... Maybe, if it weren't for the fact that young black doctors and lawyers aren't the ONLY good, hard working, treat you right group out there in the world with relationship potential! Many men work hard and take care of theirs without the extra years of education.
So again I ask--- what is it??? Really?
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Shalanda, Shalanda, Shalanda... you are walking down a dark alley with this one (hope you brought your pepper spray ;-)). I love that you're blogging now, keep me abreast of new posts. In response to your question. I just came back from my fifth year college reunion and actually discovered that in a room (actually it was under a tent) of black men and women, pretty equally numbered, the majority of the women were recently engaged and soon to be married and the majority of the men were mostly single or dating very casually. I'm curious how much geography plays into this discussion and also age. I have a feeling that there is a shift in our generation (that is, the younger generation) toward more and more black men and women getting married and forming black couples. There is also the interracial element of mixing that goes beyond black men with white women, as a number of young black professionals I know have begun dating other racial minorities (Asians, Indians, Hispanics) as a way of counteracting deficiencies in numbers. But also, I've noticed more and more black women who are increasingly interested in dating and (in some cases) marrying white men. So my question would be: is the ideal just for more black women marrying or specifically them marrying black men?
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